When we were more retail oriented we did - for about twenty-five years. But in the end, as with all break-ups, it wasn’t us, it was you.

Every private client who was serious about getting stuff came in during the week, and that’s when our trade clients operate.

Saturdays became a yawning chasm, only punctuated by weirdos saying ‘are they all artificial?’, and couples from Balham having a proxy war about their relationship - in the guise of trying to agree on a flower arrangement. So we stopped. We’re pretty robust, but there’s a limit to what we can take!

We’ve never published one, there are too many variables. It would have been enormous and it would have killed lots of trees. As Argos don’t do one any more, we had the right idea all along…

What we can do, very easily, is give you a bracket of the cost for something you’ve seen on the site. Just note the reference and send us an email!

Well, you’d certainly have needed a sense of humour to have got through 2020 and 2021 as a business whose vastly expensive showroom was closed for most of the time…

We think that businesses – and therefore their websites – should reflect the personalities of the people who work there. They’re fake plants; we’re not saving the world…

Also, people either ‘get’ us, or they don’t. There’s no point in beating our brains out to convert po-faced people who say ‘I don’t like artificial plants, never will’.

We accept that there will always be a few ‘fakeists’ out there. One can only hope they don’t let that narrow, prejudiced mind-set spill over into areas of equality, race or gender…

*Adopts zen pose, steeples hands, tries to look philosophical* ‘We only compete against ourselves’

As well as being really, really modest, we’ve ended up - by chance - as number one in a field of one.

That’s not blind self-belief or marketing bull, just an honest assessment.. There’s nothing better out there, we’ve looked and we keep looking.

We’re also not greedy. We generally have lots of business in hand, so if it’s not do-able, we’ll say so. You’ll often hear ‘I think you might do better with live plants there’, or (my favourite, ‘you don’t need a green wall, you just need a tin of dark green paint’!

Of course, we’ve always had ‘tribute acts’ . Local shops that sell things that look a bit like our stuff, but aren’t. In the old days we used to put absolute horrors in the window to see if they’d copy them. They often did…

Don’t take our word for it though - do your research, look at what’s out there. If you can’t see any difference between it and our stuff, then there’s no point in paying the extra.

But if you can, here we are.